Parents

Don't it ever crossed your mind that they are the most annoying human being in your life, yet you can't help but to love them unconditionally anyway?

Well, I do. All the time! Especially toward my mom. Gosh, she gets into my skin every time, yet I still love her, and do whatever she said.

My mom, well, you can say that she's sort of a Nazi. The world revolves around her, and nothing else matter to her. You do what she says, OR ELSE! Yes, I have that kind of mom. My aunt always label her as the "big boss", I guess that's the polite way of saying it. That power that she holds and demands doesn't stop just in my family, it extend to her siblings and in her office. Well, maybe she's to do that in her workplace, as she is the senior executive there. Nevertheless, that doesn't excuse her from taking her work mode home. She need to learn to stop bossing people around! Have some limit, woman!



People always say, if you want someone to stop ordering you to do something, do it miserably. It doesn't work; it NEVER work. She still boss me around to do it, anyway. Even when I pull a face, throw tantrums, argue with her, everything that can cause me to be labeled as an insolent child. She still won't stop.

Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't want to help out my own mother. I do. She just need to put a line, so that I can live my own life. Yes, I need a life, that doesn't revolve around serving her every little needs. I don't mind driving her to places, or running some errands for her. But I need my day off too! I need a time away from this family too! She can't always expect me to drop everything I do, just to drive her to a shop that is 2 blocks away from the house. She can't expect me to walk away from whatever I planned with my friends, just because she need me to drive her somewhere, when I already told her in advance (1 week notice!) that I have plan and will not be able to be there for her. She need to do things on her own again, just like before I know how to drive or run errands. She need to let go of me. Or I will do it for her.

Thankfully, I have such an amazing group of friends. They know what my parents are like, and they don't hold it against me every time I walked out on them. I'm so grateful to have them in my life, that understand how my dysfunctional family works. However, no matter how tolerant they are to my behavior, I still feel guilty. I feel bad for not being able to be there for my friends when they need me the most, just because my parents don't understand the true meaning of friendship. Sometimes, I just want to do what Intan did in her teenage years, and be rebellious. But I can't, I don't have the guts to do it. I can't plot against them like she did. And I know my parents will be extremely disappointed in me if I do.

That doesn't stop me from planning it, thou. I plan for everything in my life. Everything from my daily life to my career path. So far, I'm always on track with my plans, apart from the occasional disrupt from my parents (but I do have backup plans for these things, so, no worries). Yes, I plan to be rebellious. How thoughtful. Intan's rebel by doing whatever crosses her mind on that exact moment, based on guts and instinct. And I plan my mischievous ways; how, when, why, where, who. That definitely shows that being sisters doesn't mean you'll have the same personality and thinking.

I will not spill any details about what my plans are, because that will be stupid. I will, however, put off that plan until I have enough of it. When that happens, you'll never see it coming. Of course, I'd warned Intan about this, she just hopes whatever I planned, whenever I decided to accomplish it, I won't screw up my life over it. And I will always keep in touch with her, even if its once a month or once a year. So, I promised her that.

I'm turning 19 this month. So, legally, I don't need my parents' or guardian's approval anymore. I'm responsible for my own life. My parents need to get around with that idea, and release me. They should learn from their mistakes. Or at least remember what it's like to be 19. They're lucky they have Intan to keep me sane and in place. So far, she's the reason why I'm still tolerating with their behavior. Maybe the reason doesn't sound right, since I should love my parents more than my sister. But at least it has done its deed.

I love you, but I just need to get away from you. Or else, I'll never achieve my full potential. You're just like a form of drug, the kind that boost you up when you take it in small portion; but kills you if you overdose. I won't let the latter to happens to me, at any cost.